Thursday, April 19, 2012


It's happening again.  My house is a wreck, and I can't seem to find the motivation to give it a good deep clean.  This is especially  distressing to me right now, because I can't even turn to Hoarders to get my motivation, since the show is in hiatus.  

Help!  As you all know, I have a belief that all of you live in perfectly clean houses, with nutritious meals cooked from scratch every night, laundry folded and put away, kids showered, with homework done and in bed reading at 8:30, so that you can enjoy a glass of wine with the hubby and then have wild sexy time after the kiddos are in dreamland.

How do you do it?  

I need to stop looking at Pinterest.  Or Real Simple magazine.  These things do nothing but convince me that I should be able to have a perfectly organized, spotless home decorated with all kinds of unique crafty art pieces and filled with delicious treats that are decorated to look like perfect little birds' nests.  

I am a 40-year old woman with a hubby and two boys.  I do an assload of laundry.  My boys CANNOT figure out, no matter how many times I tell them, that they need to put their dishes in the sink and their dirty clothes down the chute.  I can't seem to keep my own bedroom clean.  I do not make my bed every day.  I wear my hair in a ponytail almost every day because I have no motivation to spend any time on my hair.  I have trouble remembering when it's "hat day" at the boys' school or whether we've studied for spelling tests this week.  My hubby works many evenings, and most of the time when he does I fix something for the kids to have for supper, like refrigerated tortellini or hot dogs and mac and cheese, and they eat in front of the TV while I eat something else (like cantaloupe and chips) in front of the computer.  Many of their meals do not include all four food groups.  When hubby is home in the evenings, I make family meals and we eat together at the table.  About once every week or two.  The other times we are running around and end up at Noodles or somewhere like that.  I LOVE television.  I used to scrapbook, but haven't even done that in a couple years.  

When I entertain, my idea of fancy is putting the chips in bowls instead of leaving them in the bags.  I buy birthday cakes at the bakery.  There's booze here when there's parties here.  

I don't know.  I think I'm normal.  And I don't appreciate all the pressure I put on myself after I see all this stuff on Pinterest or in magazines, or even on morning news shows.  Because I know I'm not the only one! I have things about myself that I think are exceptional.  I'm REALLY good at ironing.  I make a mean Rice  Krispy Bar.  I mix a really yummy dirty martini.  I help my kids with their homework (and so does hubby when he's home) every night.  I say "I love you" to all 3 of my men about 100 times a day.  A homeless man in Santa Monica told me I had a beautiful laugh.  I believe him.  I can color better than anyone I know.  I am an excellent speller.  My kids absolutely love me.  My hubby thinks I'm hot.  

Pretty good, right?  So from now on, when I'm dorking around on Pinterest (because I know I won't be able to quit it), I'll be doing it for fun.  Not because I feel like I should actually make those recipes or do that level of gardening.  And I'm letting my subscription to Real Simple run out.  Because really, the title is even ridiculous.

1 comment:

  1. Do what I do, shut the front door and go leave the house. If you can't see it, it's not messy.