Wednesday, September 28, 2011

More Rambling

When you're living your life in a Twilight Zone, your perspective shifts a little bit.  I come in here in the morning to write my post, like my private little therapy session with the computer monitor.  The monitor sits there and stares at me, silently asking me, "how are you feeling today?  What would you like to talk about?"  And I think, "I don't know computer.  I'm just getting by, day by day."  I know the computer won't judge me, so it's a nice, safe therapist.  And the hourly rates aren't too bad.

Today as the computer is asking my how I feel I come up empty.  Life has officially become too strange for me to have an emotion about it right now.  I had a cup of coffee this morning that was very delicious.  That's what I'm thinking about right now.  We have a Keurig coffee brewer.  I say "we", because everyone in my family has one.  BIL3 (That's the hubby of my sweet SIL3) gave them out for Christmas several years ago, and almost instantly my parents had one, SIL1 had one, sister had one, even friends of our family had them.  They are that awesome.  So you can get the little k-cups in all kinds of flavors or brands, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, whatever, and you brew one cup at a time.  So if you get yourself a variety of creamers and some Bailey's, it's like you have your own coffee bar.  Life changing.  My life may be very simple compared to yours, but it was life changing for me.  The cup I had this morning was leftover from my mom's summer cups, and it was called summer raspberry.  Yes, raspberry coffee.  And with some sweet cream in it, it was super yummy.  So that's what I'm thinking about right now.
I have to figure out how to do this.  I might have time to try today....

Yesterday morning sister, mom and I had just finished helping out dad and getting him all situated when we finally sat down to start our exciting day.  We noticed a dollar on the counter that had ripped in half.  I think brother had left it here the night before.  We were very excited to tape it back together.  What a fun project for the day!  Then we had a chuckle about how bizarre our big plan was for the day.  But still, it was pretty exciting! 

I did get the chance to go to Sam's Club yesterday with sister.  It was a nice outing.  Of course, Sam's Club doesn't have a Sam's Club Bar attached, so it wasn't that nice.  Wouldn't that be a good idea?  I'm telling you, if I made the decisions in this world, it would be a much better place.  But nobody's listening to me yet, so sister and I had to suffer the aisles of Sam's without a martini in our hands.  The fresh air felt good, though, and it was good to see I still remember how to drive my car. 

Dad's got it pretty rough, folks.  I'm hoping this doesn't go on much longer.  It's horrible to see him suffer, and I'm sure he's so ready to be done with this.  I don't know why it has to take so long.  I wish you could just come to the decision that you're ready, take a deep breath, and walk off to your party with God.  But it doesn't seem to work that way.  As my dad retreats into his brain, he is nearly impossible to communicate with.  I'm praying that in that brain he is in a pleasant place, getting ready for his journey, and making peace with his life.  We're at peace with him, and we're ready for him to head on up.  This is getting unbearable for him and for us all.  He's fought the good fight, we've done everything we can, so what's the deal?  I wish there was some signal--"OK, Jesus, come and get him!  And make sure there's hot coffee and good mexican food up there!"  But again, nobody lets me make the decisions. 

No comments:

Post a Comment