Monday, September 19, 2011

Life and Dental Care Go On

I slept at home last night!  Woo hoo!  I did feel pretty twitchy, though, being away from things at mom and dad's.  Sister and mom had it pretty well covered, and brother and nephews were stopping by, so I felt safe going home for the night so I could get the kids on the bus and go to the dentist in the morning.

I had a clean bill of health at the dentist, thank God.  I hate going to the dentist.  I don't know anybody that loves it, so I'm sure I'm in good company.  I've had tons of dental work in the past, root canals, crowns, fillings, and so forth, so now I take really good care of my teeth to try to ward off bad news in the chair. 

So now I'm back at mom and dad's.  The nurse just got here, so we'll see what she has to say, but folks, this is a long, slow journey, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.  We're at this point where dad's in really bad shape, but changes are coming slowly.  He seems stable a lot of the time, so it almost seems like overkill to have the place full of people like it has been.  It's just for those moments when there's an episode (such as falling last night), where we see how necessary it is to have the people here.  But it drags on.  He must feel like he's under a microscope with all of us checking on him all the time, it's quiet and hot, and sometimes it feels like a death watch.  So morbid.  We try to break it up with funny tv and chatting, but that only helps once in a while.

When I was home I saw the stuff I had been accumulating to start getting ready for A's birthday party.  Now I don't know what the plan is going to be with that, since we were originally planning on it being the first part of October.  Funny how your priorities shift when things like this are going on, and you don't give it a second thought.  My kids have had to learn some pretty adult lessons in their short lives so far, and for that I'm sorry.  I hope it makes them stronger in the long run.  I have no basis of comparison, since I didn't lose anyone close to me until I was an adult.  They have lost several loved ones.  So unfair. 

I wish I could write more today.  I think I will post again this evening.  I have more on my mind, I just can't get it all down now.  I'm not myself these days . . .

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