Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Night Out

Well, dad slept all night last night.  First time in a long time.  He is still sleeping as I type this.  It's amazing and strange at the same time.  I hope he's feeling peaceful in there.

I got to go home for a while yesterday and see my men.  It was great to see them, although I couldn't hug them uncomfortably tightly because A brought his friend home on the bus.  I got sort of half-hugs out of them, because it's not that cool to snuggle with mom in front of your buddies.  Oh well.  I'll take what I can get.  I cannot believe what a great job hubby is doing holding the fort together.  He really is amazing.

While I was home I got a call from my sister that things were fine at mom and dad's, but dad had decided that he wanted to take everyone out to eat at a restaurant.  WHAT???????  Folks, if you could see him you'd be seriously questioning that decision.  But he was adamant.  It is difficult for him to speak, so if he's going to be that determined about something, what can we do?  So everyone was called, and I came back in early so I could make it on time.  At 7:00 we had a dozen people meet at a restaurant around the corner from their place.  SIL1 wheeled dad down and got him into her SUV, and we all met there on time.  He treated us all to a lovely dinner, we were loud like we usually are, and he was watching over us all, seeming very satisfied and proud.  It really was nice.  Then everyone came back here to the apartment and hung around chatting and visiting for quite a while longer.  He had his medicine and lay down in his hospital bed, right there in the middle of it.  We were loud, but he fell asleep peacefully in the middle of the commotion.  He is still sleeping now, exactly in the same position.

I spoke with my husband last night after the crowd was gone.  He was imagining what it must have been like for us to wheel dad back in the apartment after dinner.  He must have been thinking, "well, here I am.  And I will never leave these walls again."  That bummed my sister out and she mentioned how we should try to get him out for one more car ride.  But then we were thinking, what about that cliche-  what would you do if you knew you had very little time to live?  Would you want your last outing to be treating a big pile of your loved ones to dinner and having them surround you with love and laughter?  Or would you want your last outing to be a car trip around the block?  So we decided he had made the decision for us, and he knew what he was doing.

I am happy with how peacefully he is resting right now, but also a little bit unsettled.  I wonder if he's feeling like he's ready now.  I guess we'll see.  But it was a lovely dinner, a lovely visit, and he was a lovely man last night.

So today I keep thinking:  What would I want to do for my last outing?  And it very well might be exactly what he wanted.

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