Monday, October 3, 2011

Lifting the Fog

Yesterday was the first day since I started this that I haven't posted!  And it just didn't feel right.  We had a very busy day yesterday, a sort of difficult day.  It started out with a drive back in to mom's place early (it feels like I should still say mom and dad's place) to meet up with the others and head over to the funeral home to bring dad's clothes and plan the funeral.  It was horrible to see my mom have to hand over dad's clothing, especially the hat that he wore almost every day.  After that we stopped back at her place and I packed up all my stuff I'd been accumulating over there over the past weeks, and then off to the mall.  We needed to shop for clothing to wear to the funeral.  Not an easy shopping trip.

So last night I came home feeling like a used up dish rag.  Today I'm staying home for the first time.  The priest is coming over to mom's to plan the actual ceremony, and sister and SIL1 will be there for that, so I don't really need to be.  What I need to do is clean my poor house, and feel like I have some control over something again.  But I was missing my mom last night.  And I'm sure it's going to be difficult to not be with her today.  I hope she is all right, and I'm glad my sister is with her.  But it's time for me to start pushing the clouds out of the way.

Hubby and I watched a couple of our shows last night.  I can't believe how many shows I have missed!  Thank goodness for the lovely DVR.  I might have to have some of my shows on today while I'm cleaning.  I left my iPod at moms, too, so I'll have to listen to my music through my apple TV.  I can't believe I've become a gadget person!

But speaking of gadgets, I just downsized my phone the other day.  I've had a droid for a couple years, and it's been sort of fun, but there are goofy things about it.  By the end of the two years, the battery was getting weaker and weaker, and by the time I brought it in, it wouldn't charge at all.  Great.  Especially when I'm away from my family.  Plus, I probably used about 10 percent of the features on it, and the only thing I used the internet for on it was checking my e-mail or Facebook, and occasionally using the google map.  Not worth the data plan I was paying for.  So I got this little regular cell phone with a slide-out keyboard for texting.  I love it so far.  It holds a charge for three days!!!!  And we're paying more than $30 less per month for our service.  Sweet.  And now I won't be tempted to goof around on my phone while I'm sitting at the kids' football practice!

Oh!  Football practice!  I get to go to football tonight!  The kids have a game tonight, and it's a beautiful day outside, so that is very exciting.  I should see if mom wants to come down for it!  Look at that.  Already a little peek of normal.

My mom has been amazing.  Not only has she been strong, but she's also letting herself feel the sad.  I know that sounds strange, but she's got a pretty tough shell.  And the fact that she's been so open with her emotions about this is so healthy.  But we all formed a pretty good team around her through this, and I'm proud of my whole family.

During this whole process I have felt so much love and support from my friends and family out there that have been reading this and following the whole story.  It has meant the world to me, and made it that much easier to process it all.  So again, thank you.  You have all become so important to me.  Maybe soon I can write about all the nonsense again.  That will feel good.

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